


Little Wishes

by BeTheSammyToMyDean



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Adorable, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cute, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Love, M/M, Toddler Castiel (Supernatural), Wincest - Freeform, little cas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-02-07
Packaged: 2019-10-23 22:39:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 17,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17692442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeTheSammyToMyDean/pseuds/BeTheSammyToMyDean
Summary: After a hunt gone wrong, Sam and Dean end up with a three year old Castiel who thinks that the brothers are his fathers. Join the brothers in their journey of becoming parents, figuring out hidden feelings and living a normal life...





	1. Son of a Bitch

Dean stared at the toddler in front of him on his motel bed, his eyes wide. He didn't understand what the hell had just happened, but he was pretty sure that toddler hadn't been there just a second ago. One minute he was talking to Cas, and the next, a blue cloud had appeared after a loud thunderclap and when Dean opened his eyes again, he was pointing his gun at a crying toddler.

It wasn't that Dean hated toddlers and he wanted to hurt this one, he wasn't that crazy or insane and he really wasn't abusive. He would never hurt children, he rather eat his own testicles than hurt a child or a baby. He really hadn't meant to point his gun at the toddler, it just... Happened. He thought something bad was happening, and when he heard the crying he just snapped and he grabbed his gun, feeling the need to protect.

He just didn't know who he was protecting or why the hell there was a toddler crying on the bed in front of him, because there hadn't been any toddlers right there just a moment before. If Castiel had left a goddamn child on his bed after leaving in a very dramatic cloud of blue, then Dean was going to murder his ass. Dean was going to rip out his fucking lungs because how dare he, how dare he leave a toddler with someone who wasn't capable of raising a child or tending to a child's needs? Hell, Dean didn't even know who this toddler was, and he just remembered that he was  _still_ pointing a gun at... it.

Dean didn't even know the gender. Well, judging from the cloud of blue and the way it looked, it probably was a boy. Not that Dean could just assume that, but he wasn't really feeling it to look in the toddler's... Well, whatever the hell it was wearing. It looked like some sort of huge diaper, or a towel or something that was made into a diaper. He, or she, couldn't be comfortable.

"Which is probably why it's crying. Or because I'm pointing a gun at it," Dean mumbled, tucking his gun away in the waistband of his jeans after inspecting the child again from the distance he was at. "You probably don't even know what a gun is. You might not even understand what the hell I'm saying right now."

The toddler just sniffled, finally calming down a little now that Dean had put the gun down. Huh, maybe he did know what a gun was. Maybe he was raised by John Winchester. Too soon? Probably. Dean chewed on his lip, slowly moving to sit down next to the child and watching as it crawled over to him, reaching out and clinging onto Dean's hand. 

"It's holding me," Dean whispered to no one, because there was absolutely no one but him and this very blue eyed toddler in the motel room. Of course Sam had to be gone at the exact moment that he couldn't be gone. Sam was always gone when Dean needed him. "Hey there, child, who are you? Do you have a name?"

"Daddy!" The child happily said, making Dean squint at him. That was a very weird name. Who would name their child  _daddy_? That was like, a one way ticket to a life full of bullying. "I'm Cas." Dean blinked once, and then another time, and another time, his mind working overtime to process what the toddler just had said because, Cas? Cas. Cas? It couldn't be... 

"Cas?" Dean asked, putting his hands under the toddler's armpits and lifting him up into the air, squinting even more at the child, trying to figure out if maybe there was some sign that told him that this was indeed Cas. Yeah, sure, he had the same piercing blue eyes and the same black hair, but it just couldn't be. Why would this be Cas?

"Yeah! Daddy, wooh!" Cas laughed and giggled, flailing his legs around in the air, looking like he was very much enjoying himself. Dean was so fucking freaked out, so fucking weirded out because if  _this_ was  _Cas,_ and it couldn't be, then what the hell had happened?

Sure, the whole thunder thing and the whole blue cloud of smoke thing wasn't really normal and probably meant that something weird had happened, but seriously? Cas had just been... Turned into a child? That was impossible. Why would that happen? Who would even make that happen? And how did it happen? And why?

And why was no one there to help Dean and stop him from internally screaming?

"Okay, let's... Figure out who the hell you are and what the hell happened, okay? And, of course, why the hell you're in my motel bed," Dean said, chewing on his lip for a while after talking, staring at the toddler who just giggled. "So, uh, if you wanna help me out here by telling me who your mommy and daddy are, that would be great."

"Daddy!" The toddler giggled again, making Dean sigh before he put the child down onto the bed again, rubbing both of his hands over his face because he just... He couldn't believe this. Sam had gone out for grocery shopping, and now Dean was here stuck with a goddamn toddler. He had no idea how he was going to explain this to his little brother...


	2. He's a toddler now

"Dean?" Sam softly asked, making Dean look up from where he was sitting on the couch, exhausted and just... Exhausted. It had been a pretty damn long time since he had a young child around him, aka Sam, and in those nearly twenty-five years Dean had gotten old. Well, not that old. I mean, he was only thirty years old so that wasn't that bad, but he had gotten a lot older than he was when he had to raise Sam and he felt it in his body.

"Yeah? What's up?" Dean asked, rubbing a hand over his face before he rubbed his eyes while yawning. He always had a habit of touching his face more when he was tired, it was just something that he did but he had no idea why. Habits were weird like that.

"Why is there a baby in my bed?" Sam questioned, still in the same soft but still slightly panicked voice he had been talking in before, obviously very confused and eager for an answer to his question. Dean understood that, obviously, because it wasn't every day that you would find a damn toddler in your bed, right? And now that Dean was thinking about it...

"It's a toddler." Dean huffed out, turning to look back at the TV to concentrate on the soap opera he had been watching. He had been asleep for most of it, though, just exhausted because of spending a few hours trying to look after Cas. Toddler Cas. A little angel in diapers. Or well, a towel that Dean had made into a diaper.  

"What?" Sam breathed out, staring at Dean, not really sure why Dean was so focused on that. There was a fucking baby or toddler or whatever in his bed and Dean was worrying about Sam not getting the whole age thing right?

"It's not a baby, it's a toddler. Turns out he's actually three years old," Dean mumbled as an answer, his eyes slipping closed as he slowly started drifting off to sleep. Yeah, raising kids was definitely tiring, and he had only done it for a few hours. Crazy, right? "Or at least that's how many fingers he kept sticking up when I asked him."

"That's great, really, it's amazing that he's three," Sam said, nodding his head while he walked over to the child in his bed, staring at it and unable to stop himself from smiling a little because, hey, kids were cute. This kid was just damn adorable and Sam couldn't possibly not smile while he looked at it sleeping. "So uh, who exactly is he?"

"It's Cas," Dean said, nodding his head slowly, letting his head fall back as he stared up at the ceiling of the motel room. The dirty, stained ceiling. He hated motel room ceilings. When he was younger, Dean always used to lay there for hours while he waited for Sam to stop crying, trying to figure out how all those stains for there. Sometimes the rooms would have mirrors, which always confused Dean, but when he got older he finally understood how to use them to his own advantage. "The big ass angel Cas."

"Cas?" Sam asked, looking at the toddler before he went to sit down next to Dean, staring at his big brother with a frown on his face, the WiFi symbol apparent in his forehead wrinkles. Always four bars. That's where Sam got such a good connection from. "Uh, okay, so it's Cas."

"Yeah," Dean nodded, glancing at Sam and nodding again before he turned back to the ceiling, letting out a deep sigh. "It's little three year old Cas. I mean, if I have to believe him, of course. He was never really that good at lying, though, probably cause he was an angel."

"Are you okay?" Sam asked, and Dean nodded while he wondered why Sam just kept asking questions because it was getting a little annoying. He just wanted to sleep, you know? After such a long and confusing day, all he wanted to do was rest his body and mind. "Okay, that's great. So, can you tell me now why Cas is a toddler? Cause I left you both as adults, I'm pretty sure of that."

"Yeah, you did. But then there was this thunder and a big cloud of blue smoke and then crying and I pointed my gun at a toddler, Sam, at a toddler," Dean breathed out, sitting up and turning a little to look at the sleeping child, smiling softly. "He's cute, ain't he? I mean, cute for such an annoying angel."

"He is definitely a cute kid. Chubby cheeks," Sam chuckled, nodding his head before he stared at Dean who just had this look of fondness on his face. It was awesome, it looked so good on Dean, like he was proud or like he loved something so fucking much that he just couldn't hide it in any way. It reminded Sam of how Dean sometimes looked at him, but it couldn't be for the same reason, Dean couldn't love him that much. "You know we have to fix this somehow, right?"

"Yeah, I know. I think it's some kind of spell or curse," Dean said before yawning again, his eyes starting to slip closed again. "I'll sleep on the couch... We can fix this tomorrow, right? Or at least start with fixing it. We don't have to do it right now, I'm way too tired for that. Or for doing anything, really. He's a really bouncy kid."

"Yeah?" Sam laughed softly, imagining Dean with a bouncy toddler, something that just warmed his heart so much that he couldn't stop smiling. "Go get some sleep, Dean. We'll figure this out tomorrow, okay? You need sleep."

Dean nodded in agreement, watching as Sam got up and walked over to Dean's bed to get in it after pulling off his clothes. The oldest Winchester brother hummed softly, pulling off his shoes before getting comfortable on the couch. He shot the toddler one last glance, smiling softly. Maybe he'd wake up with neck pain, but it was worth it if Cas was happy. Fuck, he might even start missing that cute little kid. But, Sam was right. They were going to have to fix this.

"Night, Sammy. Night, Cas..."

 


	3. Two Daddies

Dean groaned softly, trying to wipe away  the saliva that stuck to his face. It felt like some kind of tiny dog was kissing him or licking him, and it was the weirdest thing ever. He just dearly hoped that Sam hadn't been turned into a dog, because that, well, that would just be horrible. Not that Dean didn't like dogs, but it was more that he didn't feel like taking care of his brother-dog and making sure that he would be turned back into Sammy the moose. He was way too tired for anything like that. 

"Daddy," A tiny voice whispered with a few more very wet kisses being placed following said voice, making Dean grunt and whine a little. Okay, so, no dog. Dogs didn't talk. Dogs didn't call Dean  _daddy._  Dean was pretty sure of that, he had seen a lot of dogs and none of them had ever talked to him. He had really weird thoughts when he was still half asleep. "Daddy, hungry."

Slowly Dean's brain started working again, making him yawn before his eyes shot open and he looked straight into the sky blue eyes of the toddler that was on his little knees next to the oldest Winchester brother. Cas, of course it was Cas. The toddler had to be hungry. Dean had fed him some chocolate bars because that was literally the only food he had around-- and the only things to drink were either whiskey or beer and he was not going to feed his toddler something with alcohol in it. He wanted to buy something more...  _Toddler safe_ food and drinks, but he didn't want to leave Cas alone in the motel room and he didn't exactly want to take him out to the store in only a towel made into a diaper either. One time he had done that with Sam and the kid was almost taken away from him and their father.

But now that Sam was here too, one of them could go out to the store and buy some stuff so their... friend turned toddler had something to eat and drink. Dean really didn't want Cas to starve. Sure, the angel hadn't always been a good friend and he hadn't always been there for Dean but, fuck, this seemed like he was someone completely different. Dean wasn't even sure if the toddler was still an angel after all this. Maybe whatever had done this to him had taken care of it that Cas didn't even have any powers anymore-- after all, Cas wasn't Cas. This was just a vessel, this was just Jimmy Novak. But it seemed that the toddler was Cas seeing as he called himself Cas.

"Morning to you too, kid," Dean mumbled, rubbing his eyes and yawning before he sat up, looking at the toddler who was now sucking on his thumb like the adorable little kid he was. "You want breakfast, huh? Go wake up Sammy, he needs to get us some food and you need some clothes. Can't have you going everywhere in just that towel, now can we?"

"No, daddy," Cas giggled, moving closer to Dean and the oldest Winchester scrunched up his nose when the scent of urine hit him in the face. Great. So, that towel was definitely in need of changing. Dean sighed, ruffling Cas' dark hair before getting up from the bed, looking over at Sam's bed which was empty. "Daddy went to store."

"Oh," Dean breathed out, blinking a few times before he froze, slowly looking at Cas. "Hold up. Wasn't I daddy? I thought you called me that, right?" Dean was kind of scared of what was about to come out of Cas' mouth. If he saw Sam  _and_ Dean as his fathers then that meant that they somehow... Well, Cas somehow saw them as his parents. And that would be fucking insane, now wouldn't it? It wasn't as if Dean and Sam were actually together or anything. They were brothers, that was just impossible. Or at least that's what Dean told himself. Maybe to hide some feelings, to push them away deep down so he wouldn't have to feel them anymore because he felt crazy feeling them.

"Both daddy," Cas giggled out, squirming around uncomfortably and Dean realized that he should definitely take that towel off before Cas would get any diaper rash or whatever. Dean moved, gently pushing Cas down until he was laying on his back, starting to take the diaper off. "Both my daddy."

Dean hummed, wiping Cas clean before putting one of his old shirts around him to use it as a diaper. He had to improvise, you know? Because Sam wasn't back yet and he didn't have any diapers and he  _definitely_ didn't want to leave Cas alone. 

"Right, we're both your daddy," Dean muttered, glancing up into Cas' eyes and watching as Cas giggled and smiled before he yawned, making Dean chuckle softly. "So uh, are Sam and I married or whatever? Or are we in a complicated relationship?"

"Dunno," Cas said, not helping Dean at all. The oldest Winchester brother just sighed, nodding his head before he went to get Cas some water, helping him hold onto the glass. When Cas was done, Dean put the glass away and grabbed the remote, putting Cas down on the couch and turning on some cartoons. "Daddy cuddles?"

"Mmh, okay. But I'm gonna call Sammy first, okay?" Dean said, making Cas nod. Dean turned around before he grabbed his phone, dialing Sam's number and waiting for his little brother to pick up. "Hey, uh, are you getting diapers and clothes too? And some toys, he's gonna need some toys. Can you get him food, too? And maybe some toy cars. Not the cheap kind. I know we don't have a lot of money, but I don't want him to choke."

" _Dean, I know how to take care of a child, okay?_ " Sam's amused voice said which made Dean's cheeks turn red in embarrassment. He was just trying to take care of Cas, he needed to make sure that the toddler was taken care of in the right way and that he was loved and happy and healthy. " _I'll get him food and stuff to drink and clothes and diapers and toys, I promise. And we'll take care of him until we find a way to change him back, okay_?"

"Okay," Dean whispered, nodding his head before turning around to look at Cas who was giggling and laughing at the cartoons, a fond feeling filling Dean's entire body. "Hey, he thinks we're both his dads."

" _Like....?_ "

"Together, like," Dean said, making Sam snort before muttering a 'ridiculous'. "I know right. Get back soon, okay? I think he's getting a little cranky, he hasn't really had a lot of food since he turned into... this."

" _I'll be back in around ten minutes, okay_?" Sam said which made Dean hum and nod even though Sam couldn't see it, and Sam hung up the phone to continue shopping. Dean sighed, putting his phone down and sitting on the couch with Cas, watching as the toddler moved to get into his lap. He chuckled, holding Cas close to him and watching the cartoons with him. Maybe being a dad wasn't so bad after all, even if this was just temporary and he wasn't even Cas' real father...


	4. Baths

Sam stared at the toys in the bags that he had put in the backseat of the impala, letting out a deep sigh. He couldn't believe what was happening. Dean was inside that motel room that they got for the both of them, and he wasn't alone. No, for the first time it wasn't some slutty waitress or some other kind of whoreish girl. It was an actual baby-- or well, a toddler as Dean had explained to him.

And God, if that wasn't the weirdest that had ever happened to them. Their lives were fucked up and strange, Sam had figured that out from the first time he saw a real ghost at the age of seven (he didn't sleep in his own bed for at least three months after that), but this really took the cake. He had never heard of things like this happening, but fuck, apparently it could. And of course, it happened to them. And to Cas.

He still couldn't believe that it was the angel that had been turned into a little kid. And yeah, it probably was better than Dean being turned into a child and Sam having to figure this out with Cas. Sam didn't really like Cas, if he was honest. He had tried to start to like him, but, no matter what he did he never really seemed to be to trust him. And maybe that was just his own fault, maybe if he was able to trust literally anyone but just his big brother, he could learn to trust Cas too. 

And now the angel of God had been turned into a child. And Dean was in that motel room taking care of him while Sam was having a tiny mental breakdown in the car after going shopping for diapers. And toys, and food, and milk and other things. So many people stared at him in the store, it was weird. He didn't know if that was just because he was buying a  _lot_ of things for children, or because he hadn't fixed his hair after getting up in the morning.

Sam knew that he should be moving already. Dean was waiting on him and probably impatient and hungry, and he was pretty sure that Cas wasn't feeling any better. They hadn't really been prepared for something like this, so, there wasn't really anything that they could feed Cas. Really, they might not know a lot about kids but they knew enough to know not to feed any children whiskey.

Hell, you shouldn't even feed adults whiskey. 

So, after calming himself down a little, Sam got out of the car with the bags and walked into the motel room where Dean and Cas were on the couch, watching some cartoons. "Hey, kids, I'm back. I got you some food, Cas, do you like pancakes?"

"Uhuh," Cas nodded, getting up on his knees and basically crawling over Dean, just barely missing Dean's junk with his knobby little knee, to look at Sam. "Da said you got me toys. Can I play?"

"Mmh, why doesn't Dean freshen you up a little while I make pancakes?" Sam suggested, making Dean glare at him before he sighed, lifting the toddler up from the couch and taking the bag with clothes and diapers that Sam was holding out for him. "Hey, you have more experience in this. You always did things like these with me when I was a kid, and I don't even know how to take care of myself."

"Does it look like I do?" Dean snorted before he walked into the tiny motel bathroom that luckily was actually clean when they arrived. Usually the motels they went to, the very cheap kind, didn't look great and Dean really didn't want to just... Sit Cas in a bathtub that could have sperm in it. He didn't know if the kid was even vaccinated and he  _really_ didn't want him or anyone else to get sick. "Okay, buddy, let's get you into the bathtub, huh?" 

Dean turned on the hot water, making sure it wasn't  _too_ hot before he put some kids soap into the tub, making sure it got all nice and bubbly. Kids liked bubbles, right? Dean then looked into the bag, taking out some clothes and a diaper and hey, even new soft towels and washcloths and a little plastic duck. 

"Look, Cassie, a duck!" Dean chuckled, handing Cas the duck. The toddler giggled, looking up at Dean and smiling brightly. God, little Cas was adorable, way cuter than the adult version. "Well, let's get you out of that towel and you and mister Duck can take a nice swim."

"Yeah, da!" Cas nodded, moving to wiggle out of the already loose old shirt that Dean was definitely never going to wear again, before padding over to the tub, smiling wider. He carefully put the duck in the water, watching as it disappeared into the bubbles. Dean might have gone overboard with the bubbles. "Mist'r Duck?"

Dean chuckled, carefully lifting Cas up from the tiled floor and slowly letting him down into the water until he was sitting, Dean's hand supporting Cas' back and ready to pull him up if he went under. Cas squealed and splashed his hands around on the water, pretty much immediately making Dean regret that he was wearing clothes because, well, he was soaked. 

They spent around ten to fifteen minutes in the bathroom before Sam finally called out that breakfast was ready, and in that time Dean had washed Cas' hair and his body, making sure that he was squeaky clean. Dean pulled Cas out of the tub, petting him dry with the soft towel and then dressing him in a diaper and the cutest little blue onesie with giraffes on it. 

Dean then carried Cas to the table, putting him down on a chair and pushing his hair out of his face before he looked down at his own wet clothes. "I think I'm gonna need to change my clothes first, Sammy."

"Aw, did you make Dean wet, Cas?" Sam laughed, making Cas giggle and nod, moist hair falling back into his face again. "That's a good boy. Look, Cas, I made you pancakes in the shape of a bear."

"I mean, you do have to use a lot of imagination to see a bear, Samantha." Dean grinned before rushing away when Sam raised his spatula, going to change his clothes. It was weird to both of the brothers how easy this was, how normal it felt to just... Be a family like this. It just fit so well. It was like nothing was even different, like nothing had changed even though they got toddler Cas. Dean didn't even want to think about why it was like that. Currently all he wanted was some whiskey and those delicious pancakes, and maybe even a hug...


	5. What are feelings?

Dean wasn't sure how to act around kids. Sam had called him 'a natural', but he himself wasn't so sure about that. He had obviously never had any children, and aside from some he had met throughout his mess of a life, he had never really interacted with any either. Dean had never bonded with any, and he had no idea how to raise them into normal human beings. 

But then Sam reminded him of the fact that he had basically raised his little brother, and maybe Dean could agree with that. John had never been there for them in the time that he was alive, and it was horrible. Yeah, sure, Sam had never actually had any parents. Mary had died, and John had stopped being a father at that exact point. But for Dean? Well, for him it was even worse. 

He had  _grown up_ with parents. The first four years, the most important years in shaping a person, Dean had John and Mary and they had hugged him and cuddled him and kissed his chubby cheeks and his boo-boos and had soothed him and given him love. But then that was all ripped from him, and instead he got a father who told him to  _not be a baby_ whenever he cried. He got a gun when he was afraid of the monster in his closet or under his bed, he got salt whenever he thought he saw something, he got another speech about how he needed to grow up whenever he broke down into tears-- and all that at the age of five. 

That didn't mean that he felt like he had it worse than Sam, or anyone on earth for that matter. Because, what do people always tell you whenever you're sad?  _There are people who have it worse out there, kid._ And Dean agreed, there would always be people out there who had it worse than him, but did that really mean that he couldn't be sad? 

Dean had always allowed Sam to be sad, and he was sure that there were kids out there that had it worse than little Sammy, weren't there? But Sam could be sad, because he had the right to. And no one ever tells you not to be happy because there are people out there who have it better, right? Dean allowed Sam to be sad, but not himself. Never himself. 

When he raised Sam, he tried to hide as much of his own childishness, he had just basically pushed it away because to him it didn't matter as much as Sam did-- even John didn't care as much about the fact that Dean needed to be a kid every once in a while either. He was still young, but his father had forced him to grow up.

Maybe some of that childishness came out whenever he was around kids, maybe that was why they tended to gravitate towards him. Dean had never actually  _scared_ a child, which was surprising to him. He thought of himself as terrifying sometimes, mostly because he was big and he had a dark voice and guns, though he never actually showed kids his guns. He wasn't  _that_ crazy.

He was scared, though, of having Cas around him. Not that he was afraid of Cas, up until now he hadn't showed any signs of still being angelic, but he was afraid of fucking it up. Of fucking  _raising_ the kid. He already felt like he had failed Sam, and he really didn't want to fail anyone else. 

Sure, Sam had never admitted  _out loud_ that Dean had fucked him up, hell, he had actually told him that Dean had been the best big brother in the world but... Well, Dean didn't need to hear things to  _know_ things. He had fucked Sam's childhood up, he hadn't been able to give him everything Sam had wanted and he hadn't been able to protect him from their father. 

He was so fucking proud when Sam announced that he was going to Stanford. Yeah, sure, Dean was hurt and sad and he wanted nothing more than to keep his baby brother with him and hug him forever (don't tell anyone that Dean wanted that, though), but he knew that it was for the better. Sam had an actual chance and being normal, and that was all the kid had ever wanted. He had tried everything to keep John away from Sam while he was gone, worked twice as hard and kept their father satisfied and as happy as he could be. 

And God, he had  _despised_ himself for taking Sam away from that normal life, he still did sometimes, even if Sam had told him that he was glad that Dean had come for him. There wasn't any normal in the Winchester dictionary, and there never was going to be any. 

But Cas... Well, the toddler somehow gave Dean hope, a sprinkle of hope that  _maybe_ they could be normal. But no, he knew that was insane. He would never have normal. He would die on the job, of course he would. That was his future. Alcoholism and a too high cholesterol and he was going out with a bang. 

Not with a kid and a... A soulmate. 

Who would ever even want him anyways? He wasn't exactly the best partner. Nightmares, hunter instincts, diner food, dirty clothes, guns, everything that most women didn't exactly look for in their ideal partner. Yeah, sure, he was perfect for a one night stand but, with his commitment issues, he just couldn't get into a long term relationship. The thought of living with anyone but Sam terrified the crap out of him. 

Sam understood him, Sam got him, Sam  _knew_ him. He knew every little bit of Dean, every emotion, every inch of him. Sam just knew him, and Dean never even needed to say anything to get Sam to understand him. Sam could ignore his bad habits, Sam knew how to calm Dean down, Sam knew how to make Dean happy--

"Here," Sam's voice snapped Dean out of his deep thoughts and he watched as his little brother sat down next to him on the couch, handing him a beer. They had just been able to put the toddler to bed, and they were basking in the silence and calmness it brought. "You look like you could use one. Fuck, who knew toddlers were so... loud?"

Dean snorted, taking a long swig of his ice-cold beer, nodding his head slowly as Sam turned on the TV on some stupid soap opera that Dean secretly loved. Sam knew him better than anyone, Sam knew how to make him feel at home, happy, safe,  _normal._ Dean's eyes widened a little and he tried not to choke on his beer as he finally realized that Sam, his little brother, made him feel normal. God, Dean  _really_ didn't want to know what that was supposed to mean...


	6. How to raise a toddler

Dean huffed as he wrestled with the baby carriage, getting more frustrated and angry with every passing second that he could not get the thing to work. He wasn't stupid, he knew he wasn't the smartest, but he definitely wasn't stupid. He might not have gone to college like Sam had, and he might not even have finished high school, but still, he was anything but stupid. Dean was a genius, he could make anything out of anything, and he knew a lot more than anyone would think he knew. 

But this stupid stroller? Yeah, it was really driving him insane. And it was Sam's fault, too.  _Sam_  had suggested to go out on a walk, and it was  _Sam_  who had promised it to Cas, and it was  _Sam_  who bought this incredibly stupid carriage with no English instructions. And now Cas was bouncing around, all excited, looking like he was barely even breathing with all the yelling and squealing and red, puffy cheeks. This was the first time that Dean  _really_ wanted to find a cure for the curse.

Sure, he knew that eventually they needed to find a cure because for all they knew, it could still be something very dangerous. They didn't know, until now Cas had just been a toddler and he didn't seem to be very, well, angelic. Nothing too bad, especially according to Dean now that Cas' whole ' _I'm an angel and I'm better than you'_  attitude was gone. Dean liked that very much because he already had enough people telling him that everyone was better than him-- thanks, John, father of the year. But it could turn into something bad, maybe Cas would de-age even further or something. Dean didn't really want to think about it.

But, even though he knew that there had to be a cure found for this curse, he didn't really find himself  _wanting_ to. He liked having Cas like this, not only for the lack of asshole-angel-attitude, but also for the fact that having a toddler around and having to take care of him together with Sam was something amazing to him.

Except for the whole baby carriage, of course.

Dean absolutely despised the thing by now, but Cas was crying and whining, wanting to go outside so desperately and Sam was trying to calm him down but not succeeding at all. Dean  _had_ to do this, no matter what. For Cas, for Sam, and for his own sanity. When he finally managed to put the carriage together in a way that it would actually support the toddler that would be sitting in it in a while, Dean sighed in relief. 

"Is it--"

"Yes, it's done," Dean nodded, making Sam close his eyes for a second before smiling, wiping Cas' red cheeks clean and gently helping him into the cute brown winter-coat that Sam had bought for him. Cas suddenly wasn't crying anymore, instead looking happy and reaching out for his favorite stuffed animal: a sheep. Dean wasn't sure if this had anything to do with any biblical stories, but he decided to just ignore it. "Seriously?  _Now_ he's quiet? When I'm working my ass off for him, he is screaming his lungs out, but now he's quiet?"

"Da, sheep!" Cas huffed out, squirming around on Sam's lap and Sam reached out, grabbing the stuffed animal and handing it to the toddler before he zipped up Cas' jacket. Cas squealed as Sam placed him in the baby carriage, and Dean laced up his boots while he watched his little brother strapping up their-- _the_ toddler. Dean  _did not_ see Cas as their son. 

"You ready, Dean?" Sam asked, standing behind the stroller in his own winter-coat, looking at Dean with a soft smile on his face. Cas looked ready to go, holding tightly onto the stuffed animal while bouncing his little legs up and down.

"Yeah, let's go to the park, huh?" Dean grinned and pulled on his own coat, holding open the door for Sam before closing it once they were all outside. It was an amazing day, with the sun shining and birds chirping, even if it was still pretty cold. That didn't matter, though, even if it gave Dean's freckled cheeks a nice shade of red. 

They slowly walked to the park, listening to Cas chat to his sheep, making their own comments here and there about how adorable Cas was. Both the brothers felt happy like this, and content, or something like that. They couldn't really put their fingers on it, but, it was nice. They liked it. 

Dean realized pretty soon after they started their walk that they looked like a couple with their baby. They got very many stares, some disgusted (those dang homophobes), but most of them were looks of fondness. Some were even of jealousy, though, but those were directed more towards Sam and his brother. Dean had to admit, they were two very good looking guys. And in this setting, with a toddler in a stroller, they looked like they were a very amazing looking couple and like they had the best relationship ever.

And the thought of that did weird things to Dean's body. No, he didn't get horny. He just kind of got those butterflies, you know? Which was stupid, and Dean tried to ignore them the best he could. 

Once they got to the park, Dean got them all some ice cream and they sat down on a bench, Cas in the middle as they slowly ate. Cas was soon covered in the sticky blue ice cream, and Dean chuckled softly as he grabbed some baby wipes to clean the toddler's hands and mouth.

"There you go," Dean softly said, kissing Cas' head before throwing away the now dirty wipes, smiling as the toddler started playing with his stuffed sheep. "Isn't he adorable?" Dean looked up at Sam, waiting for an answer but instead seeing Sam just staring at him with a weird look on his face. Something like... Fondness, or something. Dean didn't really understand it. "Hello? Earth to Sammy?"

"Huh?" Sam snapped out of his thoughts, blushing a little as he nodded, looking at Cas instead. "Yeah, he is. Very, very adorable." Dean raised an eyebrow, sitting back and enjoying the sun until they started to make their way back to the motel again. Sam staring at him had been weird, but he was just going to brush it off. It wasn't like Sam would ever like him back...


	7. Sick toddlers

"Did you find anything?" Dean asked, bouncing Cas up and down in his arms, stroking his back gently. He was exhausted from holding the toddler like this for almost an hour now, trying to get the child to finally sleep. It had worked around ten minutes ago, but Dean wasn't going to stop bouncing him yet. He wasn't going to take a chance and maybe accidentally wake him up. He wasn't  _that_ stupid. 

Sam shook his head, glancing at Dean. "I don't think it's anything curse related. Honestly, I just think it's a cold from when we took him outside yesterday. Maybe we shouldn't have given him ice cream."

"Are you sure it's not curse related?" Dean questioned softly, trying to get Sam to tell him yes or no. He needed to know the answer desperately. If it  _was_ curse related, it could be very dangerous, deathly dangerous, and it couldn't mean anything good. If this sudden fever was because of the curse, then it probably meant death. Sudden, imminent death. And look, it wasn't that Dean had ever been really close to Cas, like he had said in the last chapter, the angel had annoyed the crap out of him with his whole  _I'm better than you_ attitude. But now that Cas had been a toddler and the toddler had taken a liking to Dean (and yes, to Sam as well), Dean had suddenly felt a lot of closeness and love for the little guy.

"Yeah, I am sure," Sam softly said, closing the laptop and putting his hand on Dean's arm, a gesture that sent shivers up Dean's spine. It wasn't much, it was just a hand on his arm, but still, it felt really intimate for some reason. Maybe, hopefully, it was just because Dean hadn't slept for like, what, more than two hours that night? "It's got nothing to do with the curse, De, it's just a bad cold, okay? It's not gonna harm him badly."

Dean nodded slowly, letting out a shaky breath. Sam was probably right about this, it wasn't anything terrible, it was just a bad cold and Cas would be better in a few days. They just shouldn't go outside with a toddler in the cold and feed him ice cream in said cold. Oh God, it was Dean's fault. Okay, yeah, Sam had been the one to suggest the whole walk but Dean hadn't stopped him and he hadn't told him that Cas needed a scarf and mittens and maybe an extra pair of socks and--

"Hey, stop overthinking," Sam whispered, suddenly pulling Dean into a gentle hug, making sure to be careful of the toddler that was still in Dean's arms and cradled to his chest. And it was one of the best hugs Dean had ever had. He and Sam didn't share a lot of hugs, or a lot of affection in general. They had been brought up learning to not show any feelings because first of all, apparently that wasn't manly which is utter bullshit, and second of all, it could only somehow kick you in the ass. Also bullshit. Well, not completely, but Dean really hated not being able to talk about his feelings now that he was older. Any time he felt anything other than his usual anger and sadness, he got fucking  _terrified._ "This isn't your fault."

"It is, I know stuff about toddlers. I raised you, I should've known to dress him warmer," Dean mumbled into Sam's neck, letting him be comforted by his little brothers big, muscled arms and his warm presence. Sam was always warm, so so warm, and he smelled like Sam, like musk, like perfection, like  _home._ Oh God, Dean was so going to hell. Again. "I should've known, should've done it, but I didn't, and now he's sick. And it's my fault."

"No," Sam firmly said, pulling back and cupping Dean's cheeks, staring deeply into Dean's eyes. Sam's eyes were hazel, Dean realized, and actually kind of somehow looked like sunflowers? Crazy. But beautiful, really fucking beautiful. "It's not your fault, Dean. People get sick, kids get sick. It's normal, and it's just a cold. Give him a few days, and he'll be better, okay?" 

Dean nodded, closing his eyes and leaning into Sam's touches. He had to close his eyes, because if he didn't, he was sure he would've been kissing Sam by now. And he couldn't, fuck, he couldn't. How could he do something like that to his own brother? How? And how could he even think about something like that? This was his brother, for God's sake. This was so wrong, so fucking wrong. And Dean hated himself for it, as if he didn't hate himself enough yet. 

"Okay, yeah, okay," He whispered, nodding his head. Sam kissed his forehead gently before pulling away, taking Cas from his arms and telling Dean to go to bed. Dean nodded again, tiredly walking over to his motel bed and undressing himself before getting into his old and worn pajama shirt. Slowly he got into bed, curling up under the sheets, his swollen and tired eyes closed.

He was fucked up in the head, so damn fucked up, for wanting Sam to be right behind him and holding him. He wanted Sam's big, strong arms to be wrapped around him, to hold him and for his warmth and heartbeat to lull him to sleep. He wanted Sam, he wanted Sam, he wanted Sam so bad. Everything of Sam, all of him, his good and his bad sides. He wanted all of Sam, and he didn't know how much longer he could hold himself back.

Dean opened his eyes slowly, staring at Sam as his brother slowly walked around the room with Cas in his arms, bouncing him up and down just as gently as Dean had done. It was so perfect, Sam with a toddler, their toddler, Cas the toddler. It looked like perfection, like something that Dean had always wanted: a family. His family. And fuck, Dean wanted to cry. Because he just now realized that everything that he wanted was right in front of him, and he could never have it...


	8. Feelings are scary

Have you ever really wanted something? Like, wanted it so much that it feels like your entire body is yearning for it? Have you ever wanted something so much that it felt like without it you could not live any longer? Dean felt like that. Like there was a hole in his heart and he needed it to be filled or he was going to die. His entire body was begging him to just get on with it, find whatever it was that would finally make him whole.

He had spent the entire night awake. He tired to tell himself that it was because Cas was still sick, and Dean needed to make sure that he was awake if Cas woke up and needed anything, but, deep inside he knew that it wasn't the reason. He was awake because he couldn't sleep, because he was thinking too much. He had stared up at the ceiling all night, thinking about Sam and Cas, but mostly about Sam.

Sam was so beautiful, so gorgeous, so amazing. Dean loved his baby brother so much, but, this wasn't normal anymore. He knew that. The love he felt for Sam was too much, there was just way too much love, and he knew it had to stop. He had to stop himself from feeling like this, and from developing even more feelings. Fuck, he was going crazy with love and he knew that the only way that this could end was in pain.

So, so much pain. If he couldn't find out a way to stop himself from feeling all these feelings, then he was going to hide it forever. And of course, with all the times Dean had done that, he knew that that was going to hurt him. The feelings were going to eat him up from the inside out but he could not tell Sam. How was he going to tell him something like that? How was he just going to walk up to him and say:  _Oh, yeah, by the way? I'm in love with you. Wanna get together?_

And even if he  _would_ tell Sam for some weird ass reason (drugs, poison, death, curse), it wasn't going to end well. Sam was going to reject Dean, obviously, because why would he want him? Not only were they brothers, and incest was pretty much frowned upon by a lot of people, probably including Sam, but also because Dean wasn't exactly perfect.

He wasn't even  _close_ to being perfect. Dean hated himself, always had. He had grown up loved, but once Mary died, that all changed. He'd been an adult since the age of four, and he had missed so much love and affection that he had never developed any love for himself. He had tried to raise Sam with all the love in the world, but, he didn't know how to love himself. Dean didn't think that he was anything special.

Sure, he thought he was good looking. The ladies seemed to like him, so, there  _had_ to be something about him that was attractive, right? Maybe he had pretty eyes and yeah, sure, his lips looked fucking amazing and his skin was flawless, but... That was everything. Dean didn't have anything interesting inside of him. I mean, aside from organs and a high cholesterol and a brain, he didn't have anything that would be appealing to anyone else-- well, according to Dean himself, at least.

He didn't think he was smart, or funny, or cute, or anything like that. Dean did not think that he had anything that would be attractive to other people. Especially not to Sam. Again, this was also because they were brothers. And because Sam was probably attracted to a whole different kind of humans.

I mean, look at Jessica. She was beautiful, smart, funny, cute,  _and hey_  she wasn't family. Oh, and, well, she was also female and Dean knew for sure that he was in fact not female. Fuck, Dean had no chance with Sam. So, if he ever was going to tell Sam, which he wasn't, he would be immediately rejected and probably not allowed anywhere near him again.

So, yeah, Dean was just fucked. He was going to keep his feelings inside of him forever, and never talk about them with anyone. He couldn't, because it would ruin everything. Sure, maybe this would hurt him and break him from the inside, but, that didn't matter now did it? He was already broken anyways...

*

Sam watched as his big brother played with the toddler, Cas. It was weird to see Dean like this, like... A father. Sam wasn't used to it, to seeing Dean so paternal. Sure, Dean had raised Sam since John didn't feel like it after his wife died, but, still. He couldn't really remember Dean treating him like this. Maybe that was because back then Dean was a child, and he didn't really actually know how to raise a kid.

Cas was finally feeling better by now, and Sam and Dean were both glad about that. Dean had honestly not been able to get the thought of this maybe being because of the curse that had de-aged Cas out of his head, even though Sam had tried to convince him that that wasn't the case. But, the cold had pretty much passed, and Cas was as bouncy and happy as ever.

Dean seemed to enjoy that, and Sam's heart sometimes felt like it was swelling and melting at the thought of Dean being so happy. His big brother deserved it. He deserved to be happy. Dean had gone through so much, and Sam had never really been there for him to help him. First, Sam was too young. Then, puberty and Sam only could think about himself. After that, Stanford. 

His big brother had always been there for him. Even though it was hard for Dean to talk about his feelings and he said that it was girly to do so, he still allowed Sam to talk. And Sam never thought twice about doing so. He loved Dean, his brother, and he was Sam's entire life. Honestly, he had no idea how to live without him anymore, they were just so codependent. His wife was just gonna have to live with them. If he even was going to get a wife.

"Hey, I think we should go grocery shopping," Dean said, snapping Sam out of his thoughts before making him nod slowly. "We're almost out of nappies, and, well, I don't wanna see what happens then. And we could use some more food. Fresh food."

Sam nodded in agreement, getting up and smiling as Cas waddled over to him. "Why don't we get your shoes on, huh, Cassie? We'll go out and get you some more diapers, and, maybe we'll even get you some candy. If your daddy allows it, of course."

"Mmh, maybe just a little," Dean grinned, winking at Sam before he went to pull on his boots. "But only if I can have some, too." Sam chuckled, helping Cas into some shoes and lacing them up before letting out a happy sigh. Yeah, this was perfect. This was why Sam could never live without Dean; he just loved his big brother way too much...


	9. Fair

"So," Dean breathed out, making Sam look up from where he was folding the laundry. Cas was taking a nap, and both the Winchester brothers were taking their quiet breaks of relaxation while they could. Seriously, children were exhausting. And they both weren't the youngest anymore, so it was even more taxing on their bodies. Plus their minds, with all the quick thinking and creativity to try and keep Cas alive. "When we were in the store, I couldn't help but see that there's a fair in town today."

"Oh?" Sam smiled softly, folding the tiny clothes of Cas that they washed. Let's just say; children have a hard time staying clean. Not that Dean could really blame him, the mud seemed very attractive to him too. Besides, neither of the brothers minded. Cas was a child, kids got dirty. "And what are you trying to say with that?"

"Well, I thought that maybe Cas would enjoy the whole flashing lights and loud music and hyperactive people," Dean slowly said, eyeing his little brother. Sam looked good while folding the laundry. Sure, he looked good at literally all the time, but there was something about this whole domestic thing that made Sam seem even more attractive. And God, Dean felt terrible for being in love with his little brother, but honestly it wasn't really his fault. If only Sam wasn't so attractive, then there would be no reason for him to be attracted, right? Sam just had to quit being so fucking gorgeous, and everything would be just fine. "So, uh, do you wanna go to the fair, or something?"

"You sure know how to make it sound like you're taking me out on a date," Sam snickered, winking at Dean which made his cheeks flush a little more red than they were before. Yep, he was totally in love with the big idiot that was his brother. Ugh, Dean Winchester in love. That hadn't happened very often before. Sure, there had been feelings for Cassie, but he had always been thinking about Sam. Oh dear God, now that Dean was thinking about it, he had always been in love with him. And that was even worse. "That blush really is adorable. But yeah, I think going to the fair would be a nice thing to do."

Dean nodded, smiling softly. He was happy like this. Seriously, having Sam around and having the toddler around was amazing. Dean didn't think that he would ever get to say something like this, but, he was glad that Cas was turned into a toddler. He was glad he had a child-- even if it wasn't his own child. Or Sam's child. No, it was God's child. But hey, they were taking care of him. So, Dean decided that they deserved at least a whole lot of credit for that.

And Sam seemed to enjoy it too, to have Cas around. He was more relaxed, happier, even. Dean had no idea how that was possible, seeing as their circumstances were not exactly amazing, but he wasn't going to complain. After all, seeing Sam happy was the best thing ever. And no, not just because he was so fucking deeply in love with him but also because Sam deserved very much to be happy.

"So, uh, I'll just go get dressed and then I'll wake up Cas and have him wear something nice and warm, okay?" Dean said, making Sam hum and nod. It really felt all domestic, like they were a little family, even if they were in a small motel with two separate rooms. Dean couldn't help himself, he couldn't get the thought of his head. 

Dean got up, going to the bedroom area and dressing himself before waking up the toddler and getting him into some warm clothes. He didn't tell Cas where they were going yet, he wanted it to be a surprise. After he and Cas were done, he walked out of the bedroom area to let Sam dress himself. They weren't really comfortable with seeing each other naked yet, even though Dean kind of wanted them to be. He had really never in his life thought about Sam naked, but, hey, here he was, thinking about Sam's dick.

Once Sam was done dressing himself, they got into the car and drove over to the fair. Dean obviously insisted on parking the car somewhere safe, there was a big chance of drunk people, obviously, and he couldn't have anyone hurt his beautiful Baby. After finally managing to park the car in a place that didn't make Dean want to stay there all the time to babysit the Impala, they walked over to the fair, and watched as Cas' face lit up at the lights and rides. Yep, Dean was not gonna try hard at all to bring Cas back to normal angel size. 

"Dadda! Daddy! There!" Cas squealed out, pointing at the Carousel and smiling wide, bouncing up and down in excitement. Dean hummed, nodding his head. It wasn't dark, yet, because they wanted to go while it was still a little light so it would be before Cas' bedtime so they wouldn't have a grumpy toddler the next day. See? They already had this whole parenting thing under control, it wasn't hard at all. Which probably also was because Cas was such a good and sweet kid.

"Yes, kiddo, we are definitely going on that." Dean grinned, pulling Cas up into his arms and carrying him over to the Carousel, holding the toddler while Sam bought them tickets. This was perfect, Cas was happy and Sam was happy and that was all Dean needed. Literally all of it. 

The fair was a lot of fun. They went on the Carousel around three times, ate cotton candy and nachos, and then went onto some other rides before ending up on the Ferris Wheel. Cas was half asleep in Dean's lap, sucking on his thumb and staring at the view. He was adorable with his rosy cheeks and his messy dark hair, so fucking cute that he made Dean's heart melt. 

"It's pretty, huh?" Dean breathed out, staring at the view as well, watching the little lights as they slowly moved up and up and up. It was beautiful, the town they were staying in was some old town, with cute little lights and awesome houses and parks, and the fact that it was now dark outside was making everything way better. Sam hummed, nodding his head, and Dean looked at him, only now noticing that Sam had been staring at him all along. "Uh, Sam? What's wrong?"

"Nothing, just... Don't get mad, please." Sam breathed out, and Dean wanted to ask him what the hell he was talking about but he swallowed his words when Sam's lips were suddenly on his' own, and he realized that they were kissing, and nothing had ever been better...


	10. Sweet Lips

Dean had kissed a lot of people in his life. Like, a lot. And when he said that it were a lot of people, he really meant a lot. There had been girls, many of them, and boys too. He couldn't help that he always had been popular with the girls and guys, he was pretty and he didn't blame anyone for liking him. He was the typical American sweetheart, but then male, with his soft hair and his lovely green eyes and his plump lips and his freckles-- He was hot, and he knew it. Dean could pretty much get anyone he wanted to get, he just had that natural charm about him.

He liked kissing, enjoyed it very much. There was something about it that Dean loved, and he found it adorable that everyone had something different about the ways that they kissed. Tongues, lips, teeth, so many different ways of kisses that Dean couldn't remember all of them. And Sam? Sam had a different way as well. 

Sam was sweet. His lips were soft and warm, and he didn't use too much tongue or saliva. That, Dean liked. He didn't enjoy it very much when people just seemed to be trying to make a pool in his mouth. Sammy was amazing at kissing. Really, it was honestly the best kiss that Dean ever had before and Dean loved it. He wanted it again, and again, and again. 

But, he wasn't sure if that would happen again because as soon as they were at the bottom, Sam got off the ferris wheel and literally just bolted from Dean and Cas. Yeah, he did. He left Dean alone with the now very confused and upset toddler who thought that Sam had just left them and was not going to come back. Which was just incredibly sad, of course.

After a while of reassuring Cas that Sam had just left to go potty, because apparently you can't just say  _bathroom_ in front of little kids, the toddler finally calmed down enough for Dean to take him to the car without anyone thinking that he was kidnapping him. Which would of course not be a good thing, because, well, I think you would know why. Dean really did not want to spend some nights in another jail-cell. 

"He's probably just gone home, buddy," Dean gently said, hoping that he was right and that Sam hadn't taken off and literally just... Well, taken off. For all he knew Sam could be somewhere else by now, getting a cab, or tickets for a bus or something. Sam, at this exact moment, could be leaving for another state-- or hell, another fucking country, another continent. Right, Dean needed to stop thinking before he was going to panic. "How about we go back home too? Wasn't it fun, honey? The carousel was nice, huh?"

"Uhuh," Cas nodded, looking up at Dean, sucking on his bottom lip before watching him as Dean put the toddler into the car-seat, making sure his seat-belt was fastened. Cas could not get hurt, no matter what. "Dada home?"

"I think so, buddy," Dean whispered, kissing Cas' head before he got into the car as well, starting to drive. He hoped so bad that Sam was just going to be there when they opened the door. It kind of scared him, the idea that Sam might not be there anymore, that he might have left, was terrifying. And it was him who started the kiss, wasn't it? So why would he just leave, then? "Let's go home, huh?"

Dean turned the engine on and started driving, trying not to grip too tightly onto the steering wheel. He was terrified of Sam not being at their motel room, because he did not want to be alone. Sam had left him before when he went to Stanford, and that had hurt Dean more than anything. If Sam had left him again... Well, Dean didn't even want to think about what he would do. But he had Cas, so, he couldn't hurt himself. 

When they finally arrived back at the motel, Dean blinked his tears away, helping Cas out of the car and walking over to the door. After taking in a deep breath, he opened it, swallowing hard when there was no one inside. Sam wasn't there. Sam wasn't there. Sam was not there.

"Dada?" Cas called out, looking around the room with his big blue eyes, so vulnerable and adorable and Dean just wanted to curl up with him and hug him so tightly. "Daddy, when's dada gon'be home?"

"He'll be home soon, okay? I promise," Dean whispered, putting Cas down on the bed. He was lucky that the toddler was exhausted from the entire long day, and looked like he was pretty much falling asleep already. Dean changed Cas into his pajamas and into a clean diaper, giving him his stuffed animal and his pacifier before kissing his head, watching as Cas fell asleep quickly. Dean sighed, walking over to the living room and grabbing his phone. He needed to talk to Sam.

He called Sam over and over again, but his little brother didn't pick up. Great, huh? Sam had just kissed him, and then left. And that wasn't just painful for Dean, let's just imagine for a second how hard it would be for Cas. The little kid would probably be broken inside by this whole thing, and just the thought of that was even worse for Dean than the thought of Sam leaving him was. How could Sam leave Cas? How could he? That poor little kid.

"Sam, I... I know it's probably not... I know it's probably hard," Dean softly said after the beep, just deciding to leave a voicemail for Sam so he would know that Dean wasn't mad and that Sam really needed to come back to the motel. "But you can't leave like this, okay? Maybe it was just a mistake, or... Whatever, but... I'm not mad, okay? Just... Just  _please_ come back? If not for me, then do it for Cas. He was really sad when you weren't here when we got back... I miss you, Sam. Please come back?"

Dean put the phone down again, letting out a long sigh before rubbing his eyes. He got his pajamas on, brushed his teeth, and laid down next to Cas in his bed, watching him sleep for a long time before falling asleep as well...


	11. Terrified

Sam was scared. So fucking terrified. He had kissed Dean, he had kissed  _Dean._ That was ridiculous, right? How could he possibly have done something like that? How could he even get the idea in his head, and how could he then think that it was a good idea to do it? Of course it wasn't a good idea, there was no way it could end in a good way. 

Dean was going to hate him. If Sam would come back to him, Dean would  _hate_ him. There was no other way that Dean could feel about him. How could he ever have been so stupid? How could he ever have been stupid enough to kiss his own Goddamn fucking brother? He had ruined everything by doing this, hadn't he? 

Now he couldn't go back to Dean ever again. No, he had to run because he could not face Dean after this. He couldn't mentally handle the rejection, the pain, the tears, the hate that would be in Dean's eyes. He knew he  _should_ go back for Cas, because he couldn't just leave the toddler like this, but he just couldn't push himself to go back. He had tried to, but, no. Sam was a coward, and he wasn't going back to Dean. He wasn't going to ever even talk to him ever again. Hell, if he could he would just stop thinking about him forever.

Of course he knew that it was unfair to just leave Dean and Cas like this, but he didn't know what else to do. Of course, he knew that he could just go back but wasn't that a ridiculous idea? Yeah, it was. He would have to look Dean in the eyes and see how much Dean hated him by now for kissing him. 

Yeah, he was screwed. And now Sam was just completely alone, because no, he was never going back to his brother again...

\----///----

Cas was quiet, very quiet. Even though Dean didn't really know him that well since he hadn't been a toddler for a very long time yet, he knew him enough to know that this silence wasn't a good thing. Cas was a pretty bouncy child, and Dean liked that about him. It made him think of himself from before Mary died. He himself had always been a bouncy, happy, and carefree kid, but... Well, after his mother died, he didn't talk for a while.

He was just quiet. He didn't talk for months, just because he didn't feel like it. Dean didn't think he could talk, or that he had anything to talk about. His mother was dead, the most important person in his life at that moment had just died and his father suddenly completely changed and Dean had to take care of his baby brother. Dean had at times felt like he somehow had to replace his own mother. 

Dean had sworn to himself to never let himself lose anyone else in his life, but, that didn't really go according to plan. He had lost so many people, and... Now he had lost Sam too. Or at least it felt like he had. And that shouldn't feel like that. 

He wanted his Sammy back. Not only because Sam just should be there for Cas, but also because he needed Sam himself. Dean needed Sam so bad that it was crazy. He could admit it to himself now, because there was no denying it anymore. It was crystal clear to Dean; he was in love with his little brother. And, of course, just as he came to peace with that, Sam was suddenly gone.

Wasn't that just fun?

Dean had left several voicemails for Sam, begging him to come back. Yes, Dean had resorted to begging now. It was below his standards, but, he needed to do everything to get Sam back. Honestly, he would do just about anything by this point, even if it had just been three days. 

But three days were way too long for them to be apart. Way too fucking long. Dean was already going crazy, and he had no idea when Sam would be back.  _If_ he would even be back. And Dean had promised Cas that Sam would've been there right when they came back from the fair. Cas probably didn't trust him anymore.

Maybe it had been him who had ruined it all? Maybe it wasn't even Sam who had started the kiss, maybe it was him and maybe Dean had just remembered it all wrong. That would be a better explanation as to why Sam had run away. Dean had just fucking scared him off and terrified him by being a weird creep who liked to kiss his own damn brother. And now Sam was gone, because of Dean, probably. Oh God, Cas was  _never_ going to forgive him for any of this. Dean ruined his entire life. Maybe it  _would_ be best to change him back, then everything would be normal again and they could all go their own way.

Why did Dean have to be like this? Why did always have to ruin everything for everyone? He always tried to be the best, he always tried to make everyone happy and always tried to make sure that everyone was doing great. But, it never worked, and Dean always managed to fuck up somehow. Literally always. He was just a terrible person, wasn't he?

"C'mon, buddy, let's get ready, huh? We'll go to the park, and maybe we'll get ice cream, too," Dean said, trying to put a smile on his face as he helped Cas into his coat and his shoes, putting him in the stroller. He needed to at least pretend to be happy for the toddler. "Doesn't that sound like fun?"

Cas just stayed quiet, making Dean swallow hard. He was an idiot, a useless idiot who ruined everything always. He had never hated himself more than he did now. Sam was gone, and maybe Cas would leave him too. When he was older, of course. 

Dean sighed, walking over to the door and opening it, walking straight into a wall of warmth and abs. He flinched, reaching down for his gun before he looked up, looking into Sam's hazel eyes that were filled with tears, and shame, and pain, and sadness. It was horrible to see his Sammy like that. But he was back, Sam was back. 

"Dean."

"Sammy."


	12. We need to be okay again

"You think you can just... Come back like that?" Dean hissed out, trying to stay quiet to make sure that Cas didn't hear them arguing. The toddler was in the bedroom, because after seeing Sam and getting mad at him, the little boy was so tuckered out that he fell asleep crying in Dean's arms. So, Dean had put him to bed and made sure he was comfortable before going to kill Sam. 

Well, of course he wasn't  _really_ going to kill Sam, but he was pretty close to actually do it. He made Cas cry. More than once, too! How dare he, am I right? That little kid was literally the cutest fucking thing on earth, and Sam made him upset by being the greatest fucking son of a fucking douchebag bitch. How dare he. Dean  _definitely_ had the right to punch his stupid fucking face. 

"You think you can just show up-- oh don't fucking look down like that, you aren't the goddamned victim here," Dean snapped, starting to pace through the room. Sam was sitting on the edge of the bed, hands in his lap, staring down at them like he was a kicked puppy.  _Oh Dean was gonna kick him alright._ Kick him in his fucking balls. "Look at me, Sam, I need you to look at me. The puppy eyes are not going to work on me this time, you fucked up too bad for those to work."

Sam swallowed hard, nodding his head as he quit using his puppy eyes. It kind of happened automatically at this point. Whenever Dean was mad at him, he just went all puppy eyed and cute pout. But he knew Dean was right. Sam wasn't the victim. After all, he was the one who had started the kiss and then he just ran away and left Dean and Cas alone. 

_Oh God, he had left Dean and Cas alone._

He hadn't really realized it like that before. He was just like his dad. He had done the Stanford move again, he pulled a Stanford on Dean a second time. But this time there was a small child involved, which made it even worse. Dean and Cas were  _never_ going to forgive him, were they? 

Well, they definitely had the right to never forgive him. Fuck, he had been the biggest asshole ever. He was one of those  _'Honey, I'm going out for cigarettes and actually never come back'_ jokes in real life. Except for the fact that he kissed Dean and Dean was his big brother and oh dear God he wanted to run away again.

But no, he couldn't do that to Dean. Or to Cas. The kid literally tired himself out by crying. Wasn't Sam just a great sort of father? Yeah, notice the sarcasm in that? Cause no one thought that of him anymore. Not after Sam literally ran from his problems. Again.

"How could you do this to Cas, Sam?" Dean asked, making Sam look up at his brother in surprise. Do this to Cas? Didn't he do this to both? Oh no, oh no no no, Dean was blaming himself again. Great. The guilt had gone back to his brother, and it was all Sam's fault. He was the biggest idiot in the world, huh? If Dean wasn't going to punch him, then Sam was just going to punch himself. "He didn't talk since you left. I  _promised_ him you'd be home when we would get back from the fair, and where were you? I don't fucking know! Eating your own ass?!"

"Dean, calm down. You don't want Cas to wake up," Sam quickly said, trying to get Dean to stop talking so loudly. Of course he had the right to be loud, but Sam didn't want Cas to see them fighting. He would only get more hurt, and, well, that would be terrible. "I... I know what I did was... Not that great, but--"

" _Not that great._ "

"Yes. Right. It was worse than not that great," Sam slowly said, sucking on his bottom lip for a while, trying to find the right words. He didn't want to hurt Dean any more than he already had, because Sam was already doomed. "But, I mean, we kissed. Didn't you freak out about... All of this? Cas being a toddler, me kissing you, us living like a damned normal family. It's weird, right?"

"Yes, it is. But it wasn't a reason to run away," Dean quietly said, suddenly looking very sad. He bit his lip, looking down in silence for a few seconds. "I don't want to talk anymore right now. I have Cas to take care of. Just... Figure out how to explain yourself, okay? And figure out how to make it up to Cas, too. Because he is mad. He is one hell of a mad kid."

"I know," Sam whispered, looking down again and rubbing a hand over his face. He had fucked up so good, and he hadn't even tried. Back then he hadn't meant to kiss Dean, really. But he had done it, and afterwards he had just ran away. He had basically done the worst fucking thing to Dean in the world. And to Cas, too. They were never going to forgive him. Not that he deserved to be forgiven, ever. Sam, according to himself, deserved to suffer forever. "I'll make it up to him. To both of you. I promise. One way or another, I'll make it up to you and Cas."

"You better." Dean said before he left the room and went into Cas' room, laying down next to the toddler and pulling him close, silently crying into his hair. He felt like he had been too hard on Sam, because was this even Sam's fault? He felt so bad about everything that had happened, because he loved Sam so much. He just hoped Cas would forgive his little brother so they could go back to being a happy little brother. Dean just wanted everything to be okay again...


	13. Make it up

Sam had no idea what to do. He was currently at the shop, trying to figure out what they should eat that evening. Also, they needed some fruit and other snacks. Dean was going to starve without beef jerky or gummy bears, and Sam needed him to also eat fruit to stay at least a little bit healthy. He wanted to keep his brother around for as long as he could, even if that meant forcing Dean to eat fruit and vegetables.

He felt like he needed to make something special, just something to cheer Cas and Dean up a little. It did hurt a little to be in the store on his own, because the last time they went grocery shopping, Dean had noticed the fair in town and, well, every shitty thing happened after that. So, no, it wasn't really a nice thing to be there on his own. It just made him realize once again that he had fucked up and he was a little bit alone now.

Of course, Sam still had Dean and Cas but at the same time it felt like he didn't have them anymore at all. He had lost them, and it all had been his fault. God, why did he have to be so stupid? He had everything he wanted, and yet he had to screw it up.

"And now I can't even pick veggies Dean likes," Sam muttered to himself, putting the broccoli back before rubbing his face, letting out a soft sigh. He still didn't know how to make it up to Cas and his big brother. Sam had made them breakfast which mostly was pancakes and bacon, which were Dean and Cas' favorites, but that hadn't really helped. Cas didn't exactly want to eat anything while Sam was in the same room. "I'm a mess."

He  _needed_ to make it up to Cas, and to Dean too. If he didn't, well, he was fucked. They would never talk to him again, and if they even did, there would always be this awkward tension between them. Sam would probably tear them all apart. 

Dean liked carrots. Sam just remembered that. Dean really liked carrots, for some reason. Maybe because Sam added some sugar whenever he cooked them, or some butter, just to make it soft and smooth and sweet. Dean enjoyed soft and smooth and sweet. 

Sam really needed to make it up to his brother and the toddler they were taking care of. It broke him to see how much he had hurt Cas, and it broke him even more when he saw how Dean was blaming himself for all of this. It hadn't been Dean's fault, Sam was the one who initiated the kiss. Sam was the idiot, Sam was the big, gross, giant idiot that had hurt the two people that he loved most. And, no matter what, he was going to make it up to them...

* 

"So, I was thinking," Sam slowly said, making Dean look up at him. Cas was in his own room, playing with some of his toys. He hadn't really wanted to be in the same room as Sam, which had felt like... Well, like one of the worst things Sam had ever felt. That toddler had been his friend once, when he was grown up, and even though they hadn't been close back then they were close now. Or had been, before Sam screwed up. "About how to make it up to you two."

"And?"

"I thought we could go to a zoo," Sam continued, smiling a little bit. When he was little, he had always wanted to go to a zoo. He liked animals, a lot, and he just wanted to see exotic animals all the time. But, of course, they never actually went. Or well, one time they did. Dean snuck him into the zoo near their motel and that had been pretty much amazing. "And then go get some fries and pie and stuff."

"Yeah, that sounds nice," Dean hummed, slowly nodding his head before stirring the sauce he had made for the macaroni. "But, maybe you should consider just apologizing to him. That would work better, instead of just trying to bribe him into liking you again."

"I'm not bribing him."

"Instead of saying  _I'm sorry that I ran off for a few days,_ you're taking him to a zoo. He might be a toddler, but he isn't stupid," Dean snapped, glaring at Sam. He was getting angry with Sam, and Sam really couldn't blame his big brother. "Because apologizing is very nice to do, Sam, I thought I told you that when you were little. But apparently I failed at raising you."

"No, no Dean, you didn't. I just... I'm just an idiot," Sam looked down, letting out a sigh before he looked up at Dean again, moving to kiss his forehead. "I love you, Dean, thank you for being such an amazing big brother. And... I would like to talk to you. Alone. About the kiss."

"We don't have--"

"Yes, we do. Dean, I can see it's bothering you. We need to talk about it." Sam softly said before Dean nodded his head, looking nervous. "I'm gonna go talk to Cas, okay? And then tonight, I wanna talk to you." Sam walked off, leaving Dean alone, stirring the sauce. He really had to hold himself back, because if he didn't, he would just run away too...


	14. Need to make him happy

"Don't wanna talk to you," Cas huffed out, moving to turn around, turning his back to Sam. That hurt more than Sam would ever admit. Shit, he had  _really_ fucked up with the toddler, had he not? He didn't even want to talk to Sam. All Sam hoped for was that he wanted to listen to him at least. If not, then he would just... Be fucked forever. Then what would even be the point anymore? If he couldn't talk to Cas and apologize, then he was just going to leave forever. Even if that meant that he was just walking away from his problems. "Go 'way, I play with toys."

 "I know you don't wanna talk to me, Cas, but could you please just listen to me? I have something very important to say," Sam gently said, making Cas huff but at least he didn't move away or say anything that implied that he wasn't going to listen to Sam. That was a good thing. "I made a mistake. I was a very bad daddy, and I shouldn't have left. I'm sorry, Cas, I really am. And I promise you that I'm not gonna leave ever again, okay?"

Cas just stayed silent, making Sam sigh and rub a hand over his face. Maybe it was too late? Maybe he should have apologized sooner? Fuck, if Cas wasn't able to forgive him, then Sam wasn't going to be able to forgive himself. Why hadn't he just stayed? Why was he such a stupid, stupid,  _stupid_ stubborn asshole?

"Okay, daddy," Cas whispered, moving closer to Sam, handing him a toy car. Sam sighed in relief, wiping away a tear that fell from his eye. He was so happy, and so relieved. He couldn't believe that Cas had forgiven him, or at least accepted his apology. It was just the best thing ever to him that ever happened. Aside from that kiss he and Dean shared, even though it wasn't a great kiss and the end of it was terrible. But still, Sam would  _love_ to do it again. And again. And again. And like, a thousand more times. "We go play, 'kay? You be dat car, I be mine." 

Sam nodded and smiled, starting to play with the toddler. He was so happy, so fucking relieved and happy that Cas was finally talking to him again. Maybe now everything was going to be okay, and they would be a little family once more...

*

"So, I apologized to him," Sam slowly said, making Dean nod. He was once again cooking, which seemed to be something he did a lot lately. Not that Dean minded, he actually liked making meals for his brother and the toddler. He kind of felt like the housewife. Dean had always loved taking care of Sam when he was little, and now he got to do it all over again with Cas. "And I think he accepted it."

"Oh, you think?" Dean asked, mentioning to the drawing Cas had made earlier that day. They had taped it to the fridge, because it was just very beautiful. Well, it wasn't, but it was made by a toddler so... Yeah. And it displayed them three, holding hands, with Cas in the middle. Truly, it was the most adorable fucking thing in the world. Sam loved it, and he realized he loved Cas. He honestly didn't want Cas to go back to his angelic self. This was a way better version him. 

"Heh, yeah." Sam chuckled, looking all dopey and happy. He was so glad that Cas wasn't mad at him anymore, and they were back to being a family-- or well, almost. Because he still felt like he and Dean needed to talk about what happened between them. He just had no idea how to do it, or how to even suggest that they needed to talk. 

That was why he was going to do something completely different. Instead of just telling Dean that they were going to talk, Sam was going to surprise him. That way, Dean couldn't walk off or just plain tell him that they didn't need to talk. Because they did. The both of them needed it. 

He was actually just going to drop Cas off at daycare or a babysitter, and then he was going to take Dean out to lunch. Yes, as a date. You got that right, Sam was going to take Dean on a date. Somehow. And it was going to be great. If Dean wasn't going to murder him for doing so.  _And_ Sam still had to find a capable babysitter who wasn't an evil monster in disguise set out to hurt toddler Cas. Because Sam would literally set the world on fire if anyone or anything hurt his toddler. 

So, he still needed to take care of a lot of things, and he still needed to make sure that Dean didn't figure out that Sam was going to take him out on a date. It all needed to be a surprise, and it all needed to be fucking perfect. Sam needed to make Dean happy, no matter how. He loved his big brother, and his big brother loved him. So, he was going to make him happy and make him feel loved and he was going to take him out on a date. And everything was going to be completely perfect...


	15. Date me, please?

Dropping Cas off at the daycare actually went pretty successfully. Sure, there had been some tears, but Cas seemed to believe Sam and trust him and know now that Sam wasn't ever going to leave him again. Never a-fucking-gain. He already hated himself for leaving Cas once, and besides, he had  _promised_ Castiel that he wouldn't leave him alone. And, technically, Cas wasn't alone. And he could make some friends while at the daycare.

Sam hadn't really thought about that sooner, but maybe it would actually be good for the toddler if he went around and spent some time with some other kids. You know, good for his mental health and his social skills and all that stuff. Sam was going to need to talk to Dean about this. Maybe, if everything else worked out, they could think about settling down or something? Because turning Cas back into a normal big angel was already pretty much out of the question.

Honestly, they hadn't even talked about turning him back anymore. Everyone seemed to be happier with Castiel like this, like a toddler. And yeah, maybe it was ridiculous to keep him small, but at the same time it seemed like it was the best option for all of them. Of course, Sam would do more research into the curse or spell or whatever it was, just to make sure that it wasn't harmful for anyone. They did of course want to keep Cas safe, even though Sam still kinda didn't like big him. He just loved the toddler so much, and it did feel like a son to him. Which he really wasn't, obviously. 

It was just that if everything worked out the way Sam wanted it to work, he would have his ideal life, his perfect family. He had realized when he was away that this was all he ever had wanted: a family with Dean and a little kid, even if that was their former angel friend. Having a family like this was just... It was Sam's dream. A normal fucking family. To be normal with the people that he loved, that was just everything to him. And, if everything went according Sam's plan, then that was what he was going to have soon. And he could not fucking wait. 

Sam had always loved Dean. He was his brother, after all. Of course, being siblings didn't immediately mean that you would love each other, but growing up as close as the two Winchester brothers did kinda meant that you they  _had_ to love each other to survive. Because that was what they had to do all their lives, survive. And somewhere along that way, their love developed into... Something more. Or, at least it had for Sam. 

He didn't know what Dean felt, how he felt about Sam. He knew his big brother loved him, that was clear, but he didn't really know in what ways. Did he love him like Sam loved him? Or just like a brother. Which would be nice, but, still very disappointing. Yeah, he wanted Dean to love him as his brother but also as more? His lover? Mmh, oh, he did love the sound of that. Having Dean Winchester, his big brother and also the best human being on earth, as his lover was just something that sounded like heaven to him.

And boy oh boy, was he going to fucking get Dean to fall for him. If he wasn't already in love with him, of course. If Dean was, then everything would be easy. If not, then Sam was going to have  to sort of magically make himself attractive to Dean. He didn't have much hope for succeeding at the last plan. Sam had no idea how the fucking hell he would make himself attractive to anyone, let alone to a God like Dean. 

But, he was going to start that whole whooing thing with a date. Yes, you read that correctly.  _A date._ Sam was taking Dean, his big brother, on a date. And it was going to be a great date. He was going to whip out all of his romance skills, and fucking nail it. There were going to be flowers, and wine, and a fancy ass restaurant, and so much flirting. Sam wasn't very good at flirting, but he was still going to give his all and do his damndest to make Dean a flustered mess.

Sam let out a shaky breath. he had his flowers, he had the reservations, he had everything. All he now needed was Dean. Because, well, a date wouldn't really work with just one person, now would it? Huh? Would it? Now would it? Buddy, would it?

 "What in fucks name are you doing?" Dean asked after opening the door to the motel room after Sam knocked on it, staring at the bouquet of roses in his little brother's hands. "Dude, did you forget your key? Wait, where is Cas? Why do you have a bouquet now? Did someone change Cas into a bouquet?"

"What? No, no of course not," Sam quickly said, nodding his head before reaching out with the flowers, wanting to hand them to Dean. It was only polite of him to accept them, right? God, Sam didn't even think of a vase or anything. "No, I uh, I dropped Cas off at daycare. It would actually be pretty good for him to play with kids his age instead of kids your age."

"And you didn't even ask me or tell me you were planning on doing this?"

"No, because I knew you would protest. Like you're kinda doing now," Sam sighed, shaking his head before licking his lips. "I uh, I got these flowers for you. We're going out. On a date." Dean's expression would be hilarious, if Sam wasn't currently shitting his pants from nerves. He was looking kind of terrified, actually. And Sam really hoped that wasn't a bad thing. But, it was, because next thing Sam knew, Dean slammed the door shut in his face, making Sam flinch back. Great, of course nothing ever went according to Sam's plan. He was a Winchester, after all...

 


	16. First Date

It took a few minutes before the door opened again, and by then Sam was nearly crying. Seriously, asking someone on a date and then getting just... Blatantly rejected was terrible. Sam never wanted it to happen again. To his surprise though, instead of being punched, Dean just stood there with some jeans on and a nice shirt under his leather jacket. It was something Sam had definitely not expected, he thought Dean wouldn't ever open that door at all anymore. 

"So, where are we going?" Dean asked, and Sam just kept standing there, looking at his brother in confusion. He had no idea what was happening, he was convinced that he had just been rejected so why was Dean suddenly dressed up all nice? "Why are you looking at me like that? What, I needed a minute to get dressed, dude. You can't expect me to go on a date dressed in sweatpants."

"I just... I thought you rejected me." Sam got out, his cheeks flushing a little red now. He was still confused, and his brain hurt a little bit, but he was happy that Dean had opened the door again. At least he was seeing the gorgeous face of his big brother. 

"Why would I do that? I wanna go out on a date with you," Dean said, pulling his jacket on tighter. "And, I'm also probably going to get free food, so... You know me, I'm always in for free food."

Sam laughed, nodding his head. He was indeed going to take Dean out to get food, even though it wasn't just going to be food. It was going to be more, of course. He didn't want to immediately start off with a big date, and he definitely didn't want to do something that wasn't him. Dean knew him, he knew what he was like and Sam didn't have to pretend to be someone else. Dean had seen him in literally every way possible, in every mood possible, and it wasn't going to work with his big brother anyways. And he didn't want to scare Dean off with doing too much either.

"Yeah, I am going to take you out for food. But it's going to be a nice restaurant instead of a diner," Sam said, winking at Dean who hummed, nodding his head before taking the roses from Sam. "You uh, you gotta put those on water. Cut the stems diagonally, and such."

"Gay flower boy," Dean laughed before doing as Sam told him, coming back out a little later. "I never thought you'd be the guy for all this romantic crap. But, still, I can't say I'm really surprised."

Sam just shrugged, kissing Dean's cheek. "Cas already sees us as his dads, so, it's not going to hurt him. He's somehow already used to it. I don't get how he thinks we're his dads, though, but whatever. Doesn't hurt him." 

"It's funny, when I found out that he thinks of us like that I was so damn weirded out, but now... I kinda like it," Dean started walking over to the car, actually letting Sam keep the keys. Maybe because Dean had no idea where to go, since this was all Sam's idea. "I really actually kind of like being a dad."

"Yeah, me too," Sam nodded, getting into Baby with Dean. He was glad they were both opening up about everything, it was amazing. He liked being able to talk about his feelings with Dean, because they actually never really did it. It was pretty refreshing to do it. "So, uh, I'm just gonna take you to a restaurant for some dinner. I didn't want to overwhelm you, or leave Cas alone for too long. This is kind of the first time he's been alone, or without us, at least." 

Dean hummed in understanding, smiling softly as he reached out to pat Sam's leg. Sam started driving, arriving at the restaurant a while later. It was pretty fancy, not extremely expensive because he just couldn't afford a five star restaurant. Besides, he would make it amazing anyway just by being himself. That was all he needed to do. 

It took a while before they were in the restaurant, seated at a nice table at the window, soft music playing in the background. It was nice and warm, and it wasn't busy, and it was just perfect for a first date for them.

They talked and laughed and ate delicious food, which Sam was really happy about because it still was pretty expensive to him, as someone who didn't really make a lot of money with his 'job'. Then, during dessert, they got to talk about Castiel, the angel turned toddler.

"I know this is crazy, but," Dean slowly said, a little tipsy on the wine that he had been drinking. They didn't often get to drink red wine, usually going for something more like whiskey or beer. But now, they were being fancy, so, why not? "I kind of don't want him to turn back."

"Me neither, I get what you mean. I've been so happy doing this for him, and it looks like you and him are way happier, too," Sam said, eating some of his chocolate mousse. "Aside from me fucking up that one time, of course. But, seriously, it's way better like this."

"I just hope it isn't hurting him."

"No, that's the best part. I did some research and it turns out that it actually is a curse that turned him into what he wanted to be, like, what he mentally was longing for. Apparently he wanted to be taken care of," Sam spoke up, smiling at Dean who chuckled, nodding his head. "So, it's not bad for him at all."

"That's good then, 'cause I don't plan on turning him back, even if that's selfish. We can make a real family, Sammy, like you always wanted." Dean grinned, making Sam bite his lip before grinning as well, nodding quickly before holding up his glass.

"To us."

Dean smiled, leaning over the table to kiss Sam instead, humming happily before whispering against Sam's soft lips. "To us."


	17. The End

Sam and Dean were happy.

It was weird for them, of course. They had never really been happy before in their entire lives. Of course, there had been moments of happiness, moments where they didn't constantly grieved and hurt. But none of those moments were anywhere similar to how they felt now. 

Sure, of course there was still pain deep inside of them, but it was on the background now. They could focus on the happy things in life, the great things which made them happy. Warmth filled their bodies, and they apparently hadn't even needed that much to start feeling that way. All they had needed was an angry witch, and a curse which turned out to be a blessing. 

A little cliche, maybe, to end a story like that. But the story doesn't actually end there. No, because with the toddler and them being together as boyfriends, their story had actually just begun. But that's a different story, one that you can imagine on your own.

Let's just say that they were happy, and that's everything we all want, right? They had their happy little normal family, as normal as two brothers and an angel-turned-toddler could possibly be. It was their own little family, one they had made all by themselves. And technically a witch, of course. But that bitch was dead, so she didn't count.

Sam and Dean had gone on a load of dates after their first one, dropping Cas off at daycare, or sometimes even taking him with them whenever they went somewhere kid friendly. They never talked about changing him back again, and just watched him age like a normal child would. 

After around a year after their first date, Sam and Dean got a house. A real house, a normal house, with a white picket fence in a normal, nice neighborhood with nice neighbors and a school for Cas which the toddler absolutely loved going to. They celebrated birthdays, anniversaries, anything, in that house. It was perfect for them, everything was perfect for them. 

Sometimes the Winchesters thanked the witch for doing this to Cas, to them, because they would have never gotten together if she hadn't changed the angel. And neither of them would've missed this for all the money in the world. How could they ever want to miss something that was so perfect for them?

And it didn't even feel like a lot had changed between them, honestly. They still acted the same around each other, just with some added kisses and hugs and cuddles and sex. The sex was great, by the way, honestly amazing. Very amazing. They had no idea why they hadn't started to do any of this sooner because woah, they missed out on some hot shit. 

Cas was happy too, if you were wondering about the little boy. He was always smiles and giggles and laughs. Honestly, he was just always a happy little kid. It was amazing. Sam and Dean loved him, and he loved Sam and Dean, truly seeing them as his parents. That made everything between them so much easier, because then it just seemed to everyone like they were a gay couple and they had adopted Cas.

Life was amazing for all three of them, finally. They felt like they deserved it, too. After so many years of being in so much pain and hurt, they had finally found their happiness. And they would spend the rest of their lives living the dreams that they'd always had, always being happy and in love and as a family, because all their little wishes had come true...


End file.
